Want to roast someone without sounding rude or vulgar? Here’s your ultimate list of funny smart insults that are clever, sarcastic, and hilariously polite. Use them playfully, and always with a sense of humor!
50 Funny Smart Insults:
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
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Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
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Stupidity isn’t a crime—so you’re free to go.
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Were you born this dumb or did you practice?
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If your brain were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to pop a balloon.
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You bring everyone so much joy—when you leave the room.
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You're not stupid—you just have bad luck thinking.
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You have something on your chin… no, the third one down.
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You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
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You’re not ugly, but your personality sure needs a makeover.
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If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
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I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
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You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day.
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Your secrets are always safe with me—I never even listen when you talk.
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You have something on your face—oh wait, that’s just your face.
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You're not the sharpest pencil in the box, are you?
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You bring everyone down to your level—and then beat them with experience.
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Your mind is on vacation, but your mouth is working overtime.
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You have the perfect face—for radio.
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You could trip over a wireless signal.
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You’re living proof that evolution can go in reverse.
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Your brain has two parts—left and right. On the left, nothing's right; on the right, nothing’s left.
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You’re not completely useless—you can always serve as a bad example.
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You have more issues than Vogue.
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You're like a software update—every time you show up, everything stops working.
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I don’t hate you. I just hope your next sneeze is a bit too strong.
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You have an entire life to be a genius. Don’t waste it.
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You're not stupid. You just have bad timing and worse ideas.
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I’ve seen salads more dressed than you are prepared for life.
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You’re not even wrong. That would require some logic.
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Your village called—they want their idiot back.
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You have something to offer the world—just not today.
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You're the reason autocorrect gives up.
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I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
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You’re not the worst—just the most consistent.
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You must have been born on a highway—because that’s where most accidents happen.
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Even your imaginary friends ghosted you.
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I’d love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do it as well as life already has.
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Your comeback is still loading…
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If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
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You have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
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You’re like a mystery—mostly unsolved and very confusing.
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You’re not annoying. You’re just impossible to ignore in a bad way.
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I envy everyone who hasn’t met you.
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If your personality was a movie, it would be a silent documentary.
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You’d argue with a stop sign and still think you won.
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You’re not a complete fool—some parts are missing.
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You have a bright future—in customer complaints.
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You’re like a failed software update—slow, buggy, and irritating.
You don’t need a GPS—you're always lost in thought.